Just As You Are

"God designed you perfectly. You are God's delight, God's handiwork, and you are wonderfully unique. Despite pressures from outside forces that make you feel as if you need to change to measure up, God loves you just as you are and more than you could know."

Being Yourself. Women of Faith study
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Zephaniah 3:17

"For the Lord your God is living among you. He is a mighty savior. He will delight in you with gladness. With His love, he will calm all of your fears. He will rejoice over you with joyful song."
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Daddy...our hero

I am a small and precious child; my dad's been sent to fight. The only place i'll see his face is in my dreams at night.

He will be gone too many days for my young mind to keep track. I may be sad, but I am proud. My daddy's got your back.

I am a strong and loving wife, with a husband soon to go. These are times i'm terrified in a way most will never know.

I bite my lip and force a smile, as I watch him pack. My heart may break, but I am proud. My husband's got your back.

I am a caring mother, my son has gone to war. My mind is filled with worries that I have never known before. Every day I try to keep my thoughts from turning black.

I may be scared, but I am proud. My son has got your back.

I am a soldier serving proudly, standing tall. I fight for freedom, yours and mine, by answering this call. I do my job while knowing, the thanks it sometimes lacks.

Please say a prayer that i'll come home. It's me that's got your back.

I love you Neal Raybon Purcell. Remember, Andrew will be looking at the same moon as you and we will be praying for you every day.

When I think of how proud I am to share with our boys what their daddy is doing and how lucky they are to have you...my heart melts.

Keep your heart close to God and give Him all of yourself. He will guide your way and He promises that if we ask for wisdom He WILL provide. Seek Him in all you do and He will keep your paths stright.

When will I learn??!!

Today turned out great. Most Sundays I take the boys to Meme's to let them run around, acting crazy and get stuffed with Pop tarts and chocolate milk. Today was no different.

She called this morning and told me I looked way to stressed yesterday and to give her the boys and do something alone. Sounded good but what in the world do I do alone? I polled some of my mentors at church and they all had great ideas. It was obvious they were remembering back to the days when their kids were young and what they missed most.

My problem is I really don't like to be alone. I know...I know. That sounds strange coming from me and you do know me. It is very true though. I feel akward and out of place.

I decided on dinner and a movie. I went to Joe's and they sat me in the bar because I was alone. Nothing to look at but some baseball game. The good part was the breaks the servers took in between to dance. Also, because the server had to only wait on my order because I was Purcell Party of One, the food came out super fast and I was done in no time.

Okay, now what? I decided to go to a movie.

If I haven't said this before I was AWFUL at quessing in school when I had a 50/50 shot at a test question. I almost always chose the wrong answer.

I was going to see Night at the Museum but went to see Land of the Lost. I used to love that show back in the day and thought it would be great. Man! I was so wrong. I don't really understand why ugly words and sexual content has to be used for someone to think a movie wouldn't be good without it. I left it early and was going to walk around the Boardwalk but the sun was so bad, it forced me in to my favorite stores!

I was then able to go to Wal-mart without two little ones fighting, crying, having to go to the bathroom or wanting everything at eye level.

My favorite part of the whole afternoon was my vanilla cone from Sonic on the drive back to Meme's. My boys had a great time swimming and were napping when I came back.

She was right. I didn't realize how stressed out I was and I was able to enjoy my energetic little boys who were just as excited to see mom.

UPDATE--I have a new best part about today. As I was typing this, Neal called in and got Skype fixed. We were able to see daddy and the boys were SO impressed and talking to daddy while looking at him (and themselves) on video.

God cares about the little things. Me being stressed, my boys getting Meme time, Neal getting to see the boys. How can a Father who can calm the seas with words love me so much to calm my heart? All I know is...is that He does and I am thankful!

VBS is coming

Today was our first big meeting for VBS this year. Paul and the Underground Church. Paul will be under house arrest. The kids will see the soldier with him convert by the end of the week. They will hide in caves to worship God secretly as they learn not everyone--back then and today--have the freedom to worship God. They will go to shops where they will learn crafts and spend time with those characters who may or may not know Jesus.

I think back when VBS was the SAME thing and done the same way. I love how God wants us to reach those who don't know Him in such awesome ways but His Word never changes.

I can't wait to see how this unfolds over the next few weeks!

Sorry...it's been a while!

Since it has been so long since I have blogged, I won't catch you up on everything. I will start with today.

I went to my second kickboxing class in about 1 1/2 years and had forgotten how much I loved and missed it. I will regreat it in about 5-6 hours.

I ran home to get cleaned up so that me and the boys could go see Bob and Larry from Veggie Tales.

We waited in the wrong line for about 20 minutes and Scott wasn't pleased.

Andrew didn't mind either way...

We finally got to meet Bob and Larry. Scott hugged and hugged and tried to take Bob home. I finally convinced him they had to stay and work and that others needed a turn.

They even had the fire trucks and ambulance outside.

Next, off the Cypress Lake to meet my sister who wasn't able to come but we stayed anyway. The boys had a blast and we rushed back in time to clean up and head to church.

Service was great. Bro Mark was preaching on Eternity. He said "Christians, here on Earth is the closest you will ever come to Hell. As a unbeliever, Earth is the closest you will ever get to Heaven".

"250,000.00 die a day. Do you know where you are going?" Then isnt the time to find out!!

Where is my pillow?

I am hormonal, sad, scared, tired, overwhelmed, frustrated and anxious all at once.

Just when I think I can deal with some, they are all hitting me at once. Why can't I just be alone and quietly deal with what is going on? Why does God think I can handle it all? What should I be learning from this and how do I get out of it.

Where is my pillow so I can scream in it and cry it out?

I have to be there for my boys. I have to continue through the day without letting it stop me. As an Army wife you handle these things and work them out because your husband has a huge part to play and not have him worring about this end of "the lines" Just as the Army says, "If the Army wanted a family it would have issed one". At the same time as a child of God, He wants me to rely on others to work through it and not do it alone.

Just before I sit down to write this my own amazing son prays to God to give me and Dad a break from all our hard work. I did my best not to cry in front of him but to know that is on his mind breaks my heart.

As a christian my faith and hope reminds me God is on my side and has amazing plans for me. All this is just not for nothing. I know He sees the light at the end of the tunnel where I am stuck in the dark. I want to be so much at the same time nothing.

I love Him and thank Him for not letting me do it alone but I imagine myself just wanting to run and hide until it goes away. I pray the next few weeks go by so fast to get past some of this and I want it to be so slow that the other doesn't come.